It seems she feels like she has been fighting to be considered worthy of humanity and equality her entire life and is battle fatigued, she knows she is intelligent and perceptive and as most ppl don't notice or acknowledge the things she perceives, she thinks they may possibly be a bit slow in general. Thats a survival skill, to be alert to potential known threats, only with trauma it becomes hyper and outgrows its use, resulting in a vicious cycle of chronic re-traumatization, obsession and even paranoia, where the person will even interpret anything negative as being relayed, and also becomes so aggressive (because they expect to be silenced), defensive, and a bit compensatory narcissistic, that others find them unlikable and treat them more negatively, this deepens the cycle, ad infinitum. She can't help but be constantly aware of every micro-aggression or subtle hint of it. She is extremely sensitive and alert to it, this isn't her fault as its natural for a traumatized person to become sensitized about the issue that traumatized them. Subsequently, this trauma which could have originated in a incident or series of them in childhood is constantly reinforced by any hint of systemic unfairness that sometimes still exists around issues of gender and sexuality. She gets neither the compensation of being around men that a het woman gets, nor the being one of the boys that masculine identified lesbian might get. then usually being the only woman wherever she goes in her profession and being sidelined and overlooked etc compared to men. Part of it is she is very defensive and prickly she expects to be overlooked and rejected for being a plain-looking woman and a lesbian and life has taught her she has to fight, not trust anyone and also the sense of superiority is self-comforting consolation.Ĭlearly she is a sensitive person who was traumatized from lifelong bullying, punishment and rejection regarding being different, particularly around issues of gender expression and sexuality, in whatever time and place she grew up.īeing plain looking lesbian made her overlooked, underestimated, sidelined, ignored etc compared to women.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |